How Aromatherapy Can Help You Deal With Loss

The Definition of Loss:  'The fact or process of losing something or someone'

When we think about 'loss' we tend to focus on the grief experience when a loved one has died. However, at some time in our lives we may experience a loss such as:

  • a relationship ending.
  • a job ending - redundancy or retirement.
  • our future hopes and dreams being shattered due to a stillbirth or miscarriage.
  • good health (our own or our partner's)
  • a treasured pet dies.
  • a friendship ends.
  • a child leaving home.
  • feeling vulnerable after a traumatic experience.
  • financial difficulties.

There's no guidebook to explain to us 'how' to grieve a loss - simply because there is no 'right' way to do it. It's a very individual and personal experience. Grieving can last from a few months to many years. You may go one step forward and three backwards - that's ok and very normal.

The only thing we can say with certainty about grieving is that it's always unpredictable. That's hardly surprising when you consider the complexity of the feelings that can be experienced: shock, disbelief, denial, anger, despair, trauma, happiness, sadness, anxiety, fear, worry, guilt, relief, abandonment, insecurity, peace, confusion, loneliness and frustration.

As a result of these extreme and deep emotions, it's understandable that LOSS will have an impact on our health and well being. Insomnia, fatigue, muscle and joint pains, headaches, nausea, respiratory issues and hormone imbalances are all common physical effects when dealing with loss.

Just when you start to feel you're making progress, something like the anniversary of the loss, a wedding or birthday highlights your pain and you feel like you're right back at the beginning. Again - very normal.

Surmanti LOSS oils are designed specifically for support during this period of grieving.

Shock, disbelief, Denial

I can't believe that this has happened. Maybe someone's made a huge mistake! Maybe it's a nightmare and i'll soon wake up... I feel numb, disconnected... It can't be true.

Anger, Guilt, Despair, Bargaining, Depression

This is the most crazy, unpredictable and chaotic phase. How could this possibly happen to me... what have I done to deserve this... It's not fair! I'm so angry! What can I do... How can I possibly go on... If only i'd done XYZ, then this wouldn't have happened.

During this stage, some people become depressed and/or have suicidal thoughts. If you feel like this, please talk to your Health Professional immediately.


This stage is often called acceptance, however, there is no absolute closure to grief. You begin to have more energy and start looking forward to the next day, week or month with hope. Your loss will always be a 'part' of your life, but not your every living waking moment. You feel ready to face new challenges and are prepared to move on and begin to enjoy life!

When you have a moment that you move back or forwards from one stage or another, just stay with it. If it lasts longer than 24 hours, that's your body telling you, you need more support. Use the oil that's most appropriate for as long as your body, mind and spirit needs it.

Remember, the only 'right' way to grieve a loss is what's 'right' for you.